◾️ Ode to a Japanese Garden | wood•life•studio

I made my long-standing visit to a beautiful and magical place today – a Japanese garden. It lays peace and calm upon me that lasts for an entire year.

My visits to the garden could be more frequent, I suppose. But I vowed to myself I wouldn’t wear out my welcome. Does familiarity really breed contempt? It could. I go when I need to, usually for specific healing. Then the healing effect is not diluted or spoiled or taken for granted.

Under the wire

The thought crossed my mind many moments this year but I couldn’t find the time to go. For a quick second I thought about skipping a visit this year. Am I kidding myself? I knew how I would feel in the garden. My time here serves as a catalyst for needed changes in my life for the coming year. It washes off negativity and turmoil. It truly delivers serenity and grounds me.

I made my last minute plan to go. I arrived here two days before the gates were shut for winter.

Never am I disappointed. An eyeful of colors…

A wooden bridge with a few red leaves in the foreground. — *A few red leaves remaining.*

A willow tree at the pons near a deck. — *A few red leaves remaining.*

While I walk through the garden, a feeling of happiness initially takes hold of me. Then, I remember that time waits for no one. It’s glaringly true here. The thought makes me sad. Most of the summer flowers are gone. Trees are bare and transitioning for winter. Luckily, evergreen trees remain for the encore.

A out the way resting place with a rock and a bench at the garden.

All the time in the world?

Ms Alberta Hunter, warns in her song that time – and life – waits for no one, not even me. Truth be told, it gets to me every time I hear it. To this day, it is hard to listen to those words, but I do. Why? Because I am the voice of experience and live to tell the tale.

Steady in the garden

Shirley J in front of a Japanese tea house. — *At the tea house.*

I find that second-guessing myself is useless. Why didn’t I know this? Why didn’t I do that?

Yes, I remember that I have wisdom; I have intelligence. There is always a reason why things happen. I believe if we dig deep enough we would find an answer. We might not like what we find but it is… an answer.

The more I learn, the more I find that I don’t know. It’s true. And this crazy, mixed-up, wonderful world lends itself to discovery. It continuously amazes, dismays, surprises, and awakens me.

Just like all humans, I face a set number of days left to live, love, learn, and teach on this planet. The magical garden with its trees, rocks, waterfalls, ponds, tea houses, lanterns, and bridges will be here long after I am gone. It makes me feel wistful. Why can’t I stay here that long? For how long? No one knows. I am certain I’ll end up as smoke and eternal dust in the cosmos.

The death of an elderly woman is like the burning of a library.
– Ivorian proverb

The Woman and the Little girl

That little girl who lives inside me has learned that life moves fast. It penalizes the late bloomer more than it rewards. Still I find places to rest off the beaten path to catch my breath. Most times I simply create the space. I found my quiet place here in this Japanese garden to gather strength and organize my needs. I may run out of time to fulfill all my wishes, but I will make my best effort. That little girl will learn to protect her freedom and capture her joy. I will do all I can to help her.

The weight of age on my body and mind is easy to bear when I prioritize self-care. To support myself, I listen to my body and I pay attention to what I allow into my mind. I am excited and grateful to wake up each morning and ~~be the library~~ live another day.

Getting it all out in the garden

Shirley J in the garden in front of trees.

Ok, why do I continue to visit this place if my being here makes me feel sad? I tried to figure this out too. I think that there are few places that I would rather feel sad beside a Japanese garden. You see, that feeling builds until it can no longer be denied. Maybe I can’t breathe, or keep my eyes open. My chest rises with a suppressed sob. All of those things are physical reactions I expected. After all, I am living the story.

It’s taken a lifetime to learn that my losses and disappointments do not define me. Losses are for learning, as long as I am seeking truth and doing the best I can. What’s really important is to identify, appreciate and accept the wins, no matter how small.

Shirley J looking up at the sky in a garden. — *Caution: My emotions are showing.*

I look to the stars and the ancestral plane to burn away accumulated pain and self-doubt. Then I close my eyes.

When I open them and release a sigh, a sob or a tear, my Japanese garden is the best place to cushion the effects of my emotions.

And it envelops me in beauty, love, happiness, and hope.

It’s a Wabi Sabi World

Wabi Sabi is the acceptance of imperfection. It is a Japanese aesthetic concept that finds beauty and serenity in objects we consider misshapen or broken. Japanese garden design looks like it is rigidly planned but it is not. If you look closely, you will spot the stone steps, trees, and designs that are simply conforming to nature’s cues.

It is simple yet beautiful. It goes further when a broken, bent, and bruised “thing” is reformed or restored. It’s reincarnation in real-time!

An old tree with massive limb under bracing. — *Hanging in there!* *A tree cane or brace that bears the weight of this long, heavy branch of an old tree.*

Is perfection an illusion? When it seems beyond our reach we may lament that it is. How does the thought of perfection even enter our minds? Usually it comes from sources outside ourselves. Society, families, and educational institutions plant the seeds and our quest begins. We haven’t seen it and don’t even know what it is. We seek it in order to fit in, to be accepted or even to dominate and rule over others. Then we get to define it, but we still don’t know what it is. Make that crucial misstep or that critical error, however, and perfection doesn’t even know who you are.

Is perfection defined by others what we want? Is it too much to consider yourself as you are right now (perceived flaws and all) living, breathing, self-loving, and walking perfection?

The right time

Now is always the right time,
With something positive in your mind,
something pulls you down,
Just get back up and hold your ground.

– Curtis Mayfield

The change in seasons was never my favorite thing in the universe. Winter was snowy and cold. Spring was rainy and unpredictable. Fall signaled winter. Getting to school, work, across town, or across the country becomes a nightmare in logistics. Waiting for a bus or train in that kind of weather takes stamina and the will to arrive where you are going… on time and intact.

Yes, you earn points if you did not slip on ice or get splashed with dirty water while walking in a neglected underpass.

If it were up to me, summer would be forever.

Now that I am training for the camino in all sorts of weather, I have gotten stronger and more tolerant of the cold, wind, and rain. My favorite Japanese garden helped me see beauty and gratitude in every season.