Nirvana, self actualized state, or spiritual enlightenment – it is not easily defined. I would not know when or if I reached it. How can I know if it is even happening? I am not really reaching for enlightenment – not actively. Certainly, I am aware of self actualization. Years ago, my high school teacher mentioned the term in psychology class or – was it accounting?
Still there is a fascination about the concept.
In a child’s mind
Growing up in the inner city presents challenges to any child. It is hard to go to school and most difficult to learn once you are there. When you live in the projects and experience mistreatment from people and institutions selected to assure the health of a city, its citizens, or the nation, it is hard to imagine anything else.
Each day of your life you witness efforts to cruelly dominate and annihilate an entire race of people – my people – and the silent acquiescence by the beneficiaries of the results of those misdeeds. Ignorance of history assures that people normalize and react to false facts made real.
That is what I lived.
In my child’s mind, a self actualized state or enlightenment was simply unachievable. It was just a theory for others to aspire to – an instrument to distract from the hypocrisy of real life.
The needs on the pyramid outweigh the pinnacle of self actualization but it does not add up. Scaling the pyramid is not easy when institutional roadblocks abound and intensify when the peak is within reach.
What do you do?
Whether you go toward the thing you seek within the context of the majority or walk away and create your own independent minority, you will be watched with envy, jealousy, and rage.
The world watched – as it always does – the unchanged bloody and violent reaction to events and formed an opinion.
(please click on links below to learn more)
• Tulsa race massacre of 1921
• Racial covenants in real estate and housing
• Oregon constitutional ban against Black people living there
• Watts rebellion in California 1965
• MOVE bombing in Philadelphia 1985
and many others.
Is change possible?
If there is a change, there must be some thing that changes, yet does not change.
– Thales
I was presented with questions on the camino trail by strangers and fellow pilgrims about a number of subjects. Some were personal. I engaged in conversations about current events and the past. Some things too improbable or horrible to imagine or mention just a few years ago have come to pass. No one person, country, or thing can claim a clean slate – if it ever could.
This question kept coming up: why was I walking the camino as a black woman from the United States? The perception was that I had enough problems to deal with in my own country regarding race, culture, housing, work, and most anything affecting living here.
That is certainly true, but I am an observer and a seeker. And I am seeking the same answers that any traveler grasping some kind of personal growth and spiritual protection in this universe wants to find… needs to find. I am searching for air and space to breathe, unencumbered, unobstructed, and unbothered.
Is that enlightenment?
Perhaps. As I touched upon earlier on the trail, I am simply ensuring that I am not invisible and never was. When I land anywhere in the world, I am bombarded with questions from other seekers wanting to know about me and why I am there. My first answer always is that I am there to learn about myself, my place in the history of this world and planet that extends beyond any border.
Then I add, as a mischievous afterthought, that I want to learn about them, their country, and their history, too. That almost always brings on a giggle, laugh, hug or handshake.
There it is – enlightenment.
The thought occurred to me on the camino that self actualization just may be a form of appearing as my true self in my reality of the moment. I get to create that reality too. I learned this: it is possible to achieve enlightenment. It materializes in the wake of accomplishing something else I was seeking.
I did not know what I did – or what I found – until it was done.
Like the artist, scientist, writer, or thinker, each day I am confronted by more and new ideas, information, and experiences. Thus, I remain a work in progress.
A Peak experience
What is it?
•It involves a heightened sense of wonder, awe, or ecstasy over an experience. It is
a highly valued occurrence which is characterized by such intensity of perception, depth of feeling, or sense of profound significance as to cause it to stand out in the subject’s mind.
•The event is more or less a permanent contrast to the experiences that surround it in time and space.
•There is a sense of fulfillment, significance of the moment, a feeling of a turning point in life, and a spiritual sense of being unaware of time.
Initially, I denied it, but I believe I had one of these as a result of my pilgrimage in Spain.
What would you do if you could not fail? Isn’t it how this began in the very first place?
The world is watching. The response is one of support and love. It just does not feel like it at times. For now at least, seek the love from within yourself, your ancestors, and from your soul.
Still, there is no shortcut. The obstacles are there. Look down the road; what do you see? Alright… claim your lane, set your starting position, and take off in the direction of your most human desires!
Fulfill the destiny already determined and created by your ancestors.
Now, could you create yourself as a work of art?
How do you do it? Learn about yourself and your place in the history of the world.
The future is being planned. Will you be a part of it?
______
Baadaye
Shirley J ♥️
Read the rest of the stories about my pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela, Spain: here.
