Acting on the desire to start a blog, let alone about woodworking, is a dilemma itself. You hear that you should establish a club or start a blog to communicate with the world out there. Show what you know.
Old school social club.
We don’t reach out and communicate like we once did. Many friendships began by a chance encounter on the commuter bus or train. Just standing in line at the grocery store was enough to gain a simpatico or two.
It always begins this way: an off the cuff remark or response, usually about something silly or sad that just happened on the bus. Or I might take a seat near them on the train.
We keep meeting like this… a rainy day here, a morning snow storm there (can’t miss school or work) or just a beautiful spring day!
I’ll reveal more of myself today, I say to myself. Then I think – should I? Tomorrow, I want to know more about them. We may care about each other a little more each time we meet.
I didn’t see them on the bus today. I missed them yesterday. They’re not on the bus. They missed me today. I’m not on that train.
I start to care. And most of the time, if I know their name, I don’t know all of it. I vow, next time I see her, I’m going to ask “what is your last name”?
Sometimes I feel shame for talking to this person all this time and I don’t even know their name. I can’t let the embarrassment keep me from asking “what’s your name”?
I realize that the real shame is in not asking.
When I do, what do I find? They felt the same. A breakthrough!
It feels like we’ve known each other for a long time. Ask how two good friends met, they inevitably reply, “On the bus!” Black women do this time and again.
That’s one way we built our old time social club.
Who’s talking now?
Today, everyone is on the phone or texting or using a handheld device or two to avoid a face to face with the real world.
Are we afraid to show the world who we really are? Or are we afraid to face ourselves? I think we’re both.
Are you lonely or alone?
Civilization is lonelier than ever according to numerous sociological studies dropped every week. It’s a feeling that can change depending on what you’re doing at the time.
I’m a fan of Naked City, the television show and movie from the nineteen-fifties. The iconic line, “There are eight million stories in the naked city. This has been one of them”, is a precise depiction of the loneliness in a large town.
When you are doing life and no one’s around, are you lonely or just alone?
You can be in a relationship and be lonely.
Or in a room full of people with whom you feel you don’t have anything in common and be lonely.
It’s medically documented that loneliness raises one’s blood pressure, increases paranoia and makes you unsafe.
It is not an easy thing to do, but I do my best to combat loneliness, feelings of isolation and insecurity in myself.
I know this: I can be by myself and listen to my music or read a good book or watch a great movie. Sometimes, it lifts the veil of loneliness, for a while.
I treasure my wood shop as a sanctuary to make things and to help combat loneliness.
I occupy myself with my tools and projects, my books. I meditate. And know that I am not alone, for a while.
I create a symphony of sights, sounds, and smells.
Freshly sawn cherry sometimes smells like cherries; pine has a fresh, familiar green aroma.
Zebra wood stinks like an ancient animal, ok, but it connects me to the ancient homeland – never fails. Black ebony wood in my hand helps me connect to my ancient people long gone.
The saws make their own rhythm. I listen for the right sound, a consistent sound, that tells me that I’m standing right, I’m aligning my body properly – my wrists, my hips, my back, neck, shoulders.
Don’t saw the wood too hard. Cradle that “bird in my hand”. I remember that a gentle and light hand goes a long way. Be gentle with myself.
Planing wood and hearing that sliiiiiick! at the end of a cut denotes the perfect mergence of tool and plane, with me. It also means my tool is sharpened to perfection!
And I’m not even looking for that. Sometimes, it sneaks up on me. That’s an unexpected pleasure I get in the middle of working. And then I don’t feel lonely, at least for a while.
Sweeping and cleaning the shop helps to clear the mind. Scooping up a pile of wood shavings in my arms is like picking up a fluffy cloud. Try not smiling when that happens!
A friend who knows you and supports you can boost your well-being.
You have to do your part, too. But do we have to be told this?
The hardest thing about it is looking in the mirror and seeing the friend you seek. Your best friend. Do you recognize her? It’s…..it’s you!
It’s me, too.
Just like that, we’ve established the base for our club!
I am looking forward to building the rest.
And…I’ll know you when I see you.
-Shirley J
♥️
