● The End of the Workday

By the end of my workday, I know that I have given everything – my energy and my physical self – to the project. It may be one that takes a few hours or weeks. It doesn’t matter. Let me recall…

The day before

I was executing the project that I envisioned before I even put pencil to paper. It has been on my mind all day and all night until I call it finished. Things seemed to go well.

Yet, I obsess about the work. It’s the excitement that makes me feel that way. I’m like the sprinter at the starting block. Ready to go.

That agitated energy flows from my mind to my hands. I feel confident about myself. The saw is aimed at the wood. I know it will be my best work.

How do I achieve that?

It is a mixture of focus, skill, perseverance, and time. First, the steps to get the work done are mapped out all the way to completion… often in my mind. I’m set. Suddenly, I reckon on the potential mistakes and unexpected interruptions that I did not map out above. Funny – I have to learn that part every time. If a project is going well, I enjoy every bit of it, even the struggles.

I do not want to stop at the end of this workday, but I must. My hands need a rest. My tools need a rest.

I… need a rest.

More chores than work, I clean the shop, put my tools away, sweep and vacuum. Using what I accomplished for the day, I assess my results. Then, I make a list for next time. It clears my brain and encourages a quick start. That’s how I try to leave things.

When I close the shop door, the work, the dust, the mistakes, and doubt stay behind. Yes, sometimes I do feel fatigued and weak. That’s ok. Ironically, that “bad” feeling is simply the tired feeling risen from a good day’s work.

Working all night never ends well

I know this already.

When it happens, I find myself fighting fatigue, soreness, and hunger. My attitude changes. If the day’s work in progress features a miscalculation, maybe an avoidable mistake, or even a painful nick or two, my mood may drop.

I may become fearful.

That fear won’t let me step back and allow the work to unfold naturally towards its own recovery or correction. What do I do? I heedlessly pull on the reins instead of just holding them.

It’s not about the project anymore.

What… am I doing? Rushing to an end, but not the end of the workday I’d planned? I’m suddenly uncertain about this one. Can’t stop. But I am in a hurry to see how the project will recover. Suddenly, I don’t know anything!

And there is no end of the workday!

It invites a feeling of dread and I find myself in a bad place. The pressure builds to keep going. I don’t know how this is going to end. Sometimes, I find myself looking for a way to make things work knowing that it probably won’t. From this moment, I’m making more mistakes… my love affair with this project turns to hate dislike.

I want to ditch it. I don’t want to. Which is it? What do I do? I send this “problem” back where it started… into my so, so primitive mind.

I feel susceptible to mistakes and injuries due to fatigue or distractions. A big investment in time, materials and effort that I do not want to lose. Now, I just do whatever I need to get the job done. I’m not happy about it however. Using more of those precious resources to get to the now “altered” end does not help.

Ohhh! I see what’s happening

The panic that I felt was really about loss. It is loss of control of the outcome due to the mistakes. In this instance, the perceived control I grabbed caused more damage and didn’t help me accomplish one thing. Except a big mess. I won’t do that again – until I do it again. How do I know this?

I know me.

I realized this unexpected result gifted me with another moment of clarity and self-awareness. It’s a bonus round in learning more about myself.

Taking what little joy

I could have taken a break in the first place and replenished my woodworking energy!

My aim, to wrap up a day’s work while I’m still in a good place contrasts with the Dahomean warrior I imagine myself to be!

I remind myself that the end of the project is not the only end. Each day has its end, too. Ignoring that simple fact overshadows any mindful joy that I might have found at the bench. I’ll take what little joy I can. My passion and enthusiasm might get rearranged a bit, but it never disappears. The only feeling that is unacceptable is feeling “nothing”.

The end of the workday has power

There is not one thing that cannot be fixed!

That includes me.

And I know that I will have another great end of the workday.

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

I remember to love who I am and what I did today.

❤️ S